Birthday 2011

I celebrated my birthday on Monday, but it's not my birthday that occupies my mind nowadays, but rather the upcoming one in June heralded by the above picture.

We sent a copy of that picture in a frame to the soon-to-be-first-time grandparents for Christmas and received delighted, excited, even emotional reactions across the board. It was fun to finally be able to share our little secret and get that reception both in person and over the phone.

Thankfully, I have had an uneventful first trimester. No morning sickness - yay for me! Even so, the routine medical appointments are annoyingly frequent. I understand it gets even worse in the third trimester. Blessedly, the prenatal tests are all coming out normal and quite average. I'm not showing yet, I can still wear my regular pants and so far no one has been guessing that I'm pregnant. Perhaps they're just assuming that I simply ate heartily over the holidays. I certainly feel full - full of baby. It's starting to be a little extra effort to pull my socks on. I noticed that my balance isn't quite what it used to be at karate practice. Sensei has banned me from sparring but I hope to keep going to practice up until I have to go to the hospital. We'll see.

We felt the baby kicking two nights ago. My doctor described it to me as feeling like gas bubbles. Once I recognized the sensation, it felt more like someone was poking me from the inside. Lee got to feel it too. That moment, every time I get an ultrasound or I hear/feel the baby's heartbeat makes all this seem real. Without that, I just feel like I'm getting extra round in the middle.

Not that I don't have moments that come up short of wonder and joy. Mourning for my rapidly fading figure - and to think I only recently started to like my figure in the past year (I had a waist! My body will never be the same again!). Pre-mourning for having the time to sleep, go out to movies, dinner, outings, video games, having the time to make elaborate Halloween costumes. I've been reading a bunch of books on pregnancy and preparing for the whole labor and delivery process. Scary! My dad is OB/GYN - I grew up listening to painful sounding experiences of delivery. There were many dinners growing up where I vowed to myself that I'd rather adopt than put myself through that. Guess I lied. And let's not even get into the worries of complications and issues with the baby or the extent of psychological damage I would inflict on another human being throughout its life. Deep breath.

Meanwhile, there's birth classes and hospital tours to schedule, names to ponder, decisions like disposables vs. cloth and what would make a good family car to replace the Saturn (thanks Consumer Reports), what color to paint the nursery. Every time I find a new website or talk to someone new about my delicate condition, there are more considerations to take into account and decide on. I suppose I don't have to figure it all out now. Suffice to say that this June birthday (or May) takes a whole lot more energy than all my January ones combined.