Today, my Sensei presented me with my first level black belt in Shotokan. I tested last Sunday and was told I passed, so it wasn't a surprise to me. Still, for the rest of practice, I was a little shocked whenever I caught a glimpse of my own waist, wondering why my belt was so dark against my white gi.
A black belt. That's what it was. No big deal, it's just a different color of my belt, right? I don't feel particularly different. There are still many things to learn, many things to improve about my karate techniques. There are still plenty of years to be training and levels of black to strive for and possibly achieve. How is this belt color change any different than the last time I changed belt colors?
Perhaps it's the expectation that comes with the words 'black belt'. The term assumes mastery in a martial art. The other colors don't have that connotation. The expectation feels a little intimidating. I don't necessarily feel like I've mastered the art. Far from it. But I told myself earlier that now I'm training and studying for real. So far, it's just been a preamble to the real thing. And for some reason, that made me feel better.
I started karate again a little over 6 years ago when I realized that I was horrible at keeping up with a regular workout. The gym membership near work ended up being free money for them because I always came up with an excuse why I didn't/couldn't go to the gym at lunch. Even a semi-regular stint with the rock climbing gym in the evenings didn't take as well as I'd hoped. Exercising at home, in front of some exercise videos ranging from Taebo, belly dancing, Pilates, to hula dancing was even shorter-lived. So I went back to my college roots and looked up the nearest Shotokan dojo near me.
I had good memories of going to karate practice in school. Even through finals, I would make sure to go because it had such a calming effect on me. I started on a random whim when some cute boy asked me to join his karate class. I was thrilled that the Sensei taught karate in terms of forces and vectors and other engineering terms I was learning about during my classes in the day. I had just earned my green belt three years later when my Sensei moved away. Between co-op jobs, graduating and applying to grad school, I never did settle into a new dojo afterwards.
Cut to post grad school when I discovered that the nearest dojo to me was being taught by the Sensei of my college Sensei. I figured that was a good a sign as any that I should start up again. I went to watch a class and I was itching to get up and practice again. So I signed up for a class the very next day.
Since then, I've competed at some local tournaments, attended karate camps, injured my ankle, healed, worn my share of bruises and now I'm a black belt. As a marker on my path, I guess it is a big deal to me, after all. I hope to be practicing karate for many years yet to come.
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